Falling and Fading Into the Darkness

Angel laid on her bed sobbing, a bottle of whiskey in her hand. Dozens more bottles littered the bedroom. She cried alone in her home as her children spent the day with Paul and Cassie. The sound of her sobbing drowned within the boomming sounds of her stereo that could have been heard for miles. She had tried to make a CD that
expressed how she was feeling at that moment in time and she sat there sobbing as the lyrics told her story, taking the words right out of her heart.

At that moment the sounds of Avril Lavigne's "Nobody's Home" blasted through the speakers

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

That's how Angel thought her friend felt about her, or the friends she had left at least. They all tried to help her. They all tried save hjer from the innner demons she had been battling for so long. Yet dady after day, time after time, they watched her fail again and again and again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

Angel didn't know what to do anymore. She didn't know who she was. She felt as if she was drowning in a sea of lonliness with no way to get ashore, barely able to keep her head above water.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She felt abandoned and left alone by her father. He never wanted to talk to her. He never called. He never came to see her. He had very little contact with her since she had gotten sick and she hated him for it. He had left her alone at a time she needed him the most.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.

Angel had lost everything she had ever known. Brian, he never loved her in the first place; she understood that now. Ted, he was nothing more than a womanizer that played with her emotions like a puppet on a string. Yet somewhere deep down in her heart she stll loved him, and that's what hurt her the most. She wanted him back

Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

Angel tried to put on a fake smile and pretend everything was okay, but inside she was, breaking, crumbling, shattering, praying for someone to save her from drowning in the sorrows that surrounded her. She tried to stay strong, for Cody and her children more than anyone. She had promised Cody she wouldn't give up, but as the days seemed to grow longer and harder she could feel herself slowly breaking that promise.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Angel didn't know where home was anymore. Home was supposed to be with the one you love. So where is home when the one you love doesn't love you?

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.

Angel struggled to her feet as she stumbled over to the big vanity mirror on her dresser. She looked at herself in the mirror, tears streaming down her cheeks, her make up running, her brittle blonde hair a tangled matted mess. A weak and fragile being. So much different than the strong, independant, graceful, beautiful woman that once stood there. She pick up her antique victorian hair brush from the dresser before throwing it as hard as she could, watching the mirror shatter into thousands of tiny pieces on the floor, the same way her heart was shattering now.

She stumbled back over to thebed and picked up the whiskey bottle taking another long swig from it.

She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

Like her father she had once been a strong believer in the Christian faith, but at this moment she had faith in nothing. She had no will,no passion, the fire that once burned within her now dimmed to the size of a small candle was slowly smothering down to nothing.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She sighed as she looked at the photo album that layed on the bottom shelf of her beside stand. She pulled it onto the bed and looked over when she saw the screen on her cell phone light up, the name "Cody" come across the screen. She didn't answer it. She let it go straight to voice mail, knowing Cody would be there within minutes wheen she didn't answer.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

She let the whiskey bottle fall the the floor before she curled up on her bed burying her face in her pillow sobbing.

Cody sighed as he got her voice mail

"I guess I go over there than" he told, getting up from his sofa, grabbing his brown leather jacket and went on the door.

Angel laid there sobbing, her stero still blasting, another bottle of whiskey in her hand.

cody had been driving for almost ten minutes now

He tried calling again

Still Angel didn't answer, sobbbing, drinking, stero blasting.

"Why is she not answering me?" he asked himself

Angel sat there staring at a phto of herself and Ted on their wedding day, runng her finger across his face as she cried.

The door was unlocked, Cody could let himself in.

"I should have drove faster" he told walking to her door.

He turned the nob finding it open and walked in

Angel didn't hear Cody enter over her blasting stereo as she took another long drink from her whiskey bottle, still staring at the photo.

"Angel" he told

"What the hell is music on so loud for? Angel?" Cody said again

Angel didn't answer, unable to hear him over the stereo. she threwe her empty whiskey bottle and watched it shatter on the floor before opening another and taking a long drink from it, still staring at the photo.

"What the fuck" he told seeing the bottle smash

"Angel" he told walking in her direction

Angel didn't look up, still staring at the wedding photo with tears in her eys as she took another long drink from another bottle of whiskey.

"I want it back." Angel muttered, softly in a broken voice that matched the current state of her heart.

"What do you want back" he asked

"Angela!"

Angel looked up at Cody, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked sitting next to her.

Angel took another drink from the whiskey bottle before shoving the wedding photo in Cody's direction.

Cody leaned back a bit

"Your wedding photo?" he told in confusion

"I want it back." Angel cried helplessly.

"Why?" he asked as he took ahold of the photo

"I need him back." Angel cried, taking another long drink.

"No you don't" he told

"Yes I do, look at what's happened to me, look at what I've become." Angel cried, pulling another whiskey bottle from under the bed.

"Give me that" Cody told, forcing the bottle out of her hand

"You see this" he told pointing at the picture

"Cody give me that back." Angel whined.